So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
