She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
