the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
