she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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