It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
