Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
