you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
