this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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