I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
