I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
