Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
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