Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
