I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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