is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
