Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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