Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I got inside last night via doggy door
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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