Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
