I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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