i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
