I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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