I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
