Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize