I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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