I'm going to jail i love you
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
