I want to make a zoo with you.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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