So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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