Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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