God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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