the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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