Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize