my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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