I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
