This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize