he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
