It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She's the barista slut.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
