Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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