I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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