So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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