I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
