If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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