Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
