woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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