Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think people are normalizing furries
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize