I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
