At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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