the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
