I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
