uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
