Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
