I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
