Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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