I molested 6 butterflies tonight
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
