Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
