and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize