I puked a lego.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i now understand why vodka
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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