Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize