"it" just moved
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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