he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
