so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Everclear isn't food dammit
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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