Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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