I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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