Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize