just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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