After last night, I could never be a politician.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
