I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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