brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
