I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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